Have you ever found yourself standing at the edge of something you knew you needed to do at work—knowing you needed to step up, speak up, or challenge a process that wasn’t working—yet hesitating and holding back? Author and speaker Margie Warrell digs deeper.
I’ve been there. Not just in life, but quite literally, on a trapeze platform eight metres above the ground! What started as a fun girls’ day out became a masterclass in courage when my body froze in terror at the top of that ladder. My friends below were yelling up at me, “Find your courage, Margie! Stop playing safe!” Which would have been encouraging, except they were quoting my book titles. So much for being a courage expert.
Yet as uncomfortable (and professionally humiliating!) as that experience was, it drove home a deep truth that applies as much to the boardroom as it does to the circus tent: Courage is a decision, not a feeling.
If I had waited to feel brave to do many of the best things I’ve done in my life and career, I’d still be waiting. My guess is that the same is true for you.
The misconception that keeps us small
There’s a widespread misconception about courage that I encounter constantly in my work with leaders and their teams. It’s that courage is an emotional state – a feeling where we’re brimming with bravado and all our doubts have evaporated into thin air.
Not so.
Courage isn’t an emotion we feel; it’s a decision we make. A decision to step forward amid the risks, fear, and discomfort that generally accompany breaking ranks with the status quo in pursuit of something better.
This hit home for me after graduating from university when I moved back to my parents’ dairy farm in rural Victoria. I worked two jobs for six months, saving every dollar to buy an around-the-world airfare. Then off I set with no mobile phone, no credit card, just traveller’s cheques and a cassette tape to record updates for Mum. No such thing as email or social media back then!
That year-long adventure taught me that courage, like any skill—from learning to bake a sponge or perfecting a pavlova—strengthens with practice. Every time I chose growth over comfort, I was training my courage muscles for bigger challenges ahead.
In my new book, The Courage Gap, I explore how fear creates the gap between what we’re capable of doing and what we actually do. But here’s the good news: we have the ability to learn how to be braver. This gap can manifest in various ways, such as speaking up in meetings with insights that could improve outcomes, advocating for the resources your team desperately needs, challenging processes that waste time and money, managing difficult executives who require honest feedback, or pushing back on unrealistic deadlines that compromise quality.
While most people are masters at justifying why not to to the very thing they know, deep down, that they should, experience has taught me that procrastination is really just a delaying tactic for avoiding the chance of failure. Yet over time, we create more stress by delaying action than by just getting on with it, even if we’re fumbling our way forward. Little wonder that research shows that people are three times more likely to regret the chances they didn’t take versus those they did. As I’ve found throughout my life working and raising kids around the world – sometimes having to push through my own delay tactics – cold water doesn’t get warmer if you jump in later.
The hidden “Timidity Tax” of choosing comfort over courage
The consequences of avoiding potentially uncomfortable workplace situations are rarely dramatic or immediate, but they shouldn’t be underestimated. Every time we choose silence over speaking up, or compliance over challenging the status quo, we pay what I call the “timidity tax.”
This invisible toll is rarely obvious in the moment. Rather, it silently compounds over time. You lose credibility. Your expertise gets overlooked. Your career stagnates. Frustrating situations only grow worse. Or worse still, your organisation misses out on your valuable insights and the full quota of talent that you have to bring.
I’ve had the privilege of working with leaders across Australia and the world. The most exceptional have developed the emotional mastery required to resist the urge to play it safe. They’re not governed by their fears; instead, they use their fear to help them take smarter risks, not just safe ones. Do they always get it right? Nope. But they also have the requisite humility to learn the lessons as they go, and to know how to quickly reset, a little wiser than before.
Daring to do the very thing that the fearful self-protective part of you doesn’t want you to do makes it easier to do next time. In other words, the more often you do the uncomfortable, the less uncomfortable it becomes. Not all growth occurs in the sunlight—more often, our growth happens during difficult times that compel us to discover new depths of resilience and courage.
Your brain is programmed to turn forecasts into “fear-casts,” – imagining worst-case scenarios that are very unlikely to actually occur, to focus more on what you don’t want than what you do want, and to rationalise sticking with the familiarity of the status quo. But comfort has a shelf life. Comfort doesn’t stay comfortable forever. Learning to fully feel the uncomfortable emotions we’re wired to avoid is a profound act of personal liberation. As I learned growing up on my parents’ farm, “growth and comfort can’t ride the same horse.”
My courage challenge to you!
So here’s my challenge to you:
Identify something you know you need to do at work but have been putting off. It is likely something that has been causing you stress in some form – from low-grade irritation to full-blown frustration.
A conversation you’ve avoided with your executive about workload boundaries? A suggestion you’ve held back about improving team processes? An issue with someone that needs to be addressed? A decision you’ve delayed about professional development?
Imagine how your career—and your company—could improve if you took action. And now answer this question:
What would you do today if you were being truly courageous?
Chances are, it won’t be the most comfortable path in the short term. But take a step toward it anyway. Then tomorrow, another. Those uncomfortable emotions will pass. Regret rarely does.
As I learned during my travels and countless workplace challenges since, we are braver than we know and can handle more than we think. The gap between what you’re capable of doing and what you actually do doesn’t have to define your career.
So go on, be brave. Do that thing you keep avoiding. Because that awkward moment you’ve been putting off isn’t the enemy, it’s the access point. Your future will only get better. I promise.
