As executive assistants, you’re often the first to sense it – and the first to manage the ripple effect across a team. According to Claire Denut-Samuels, Global Head of HR Services at consulting and growth management firm Polyglot Group, a leader’s emotional state can make or break how their people feel, perform, and belong.
Denut-Samuels shared a personal story that sums it up. When she told two different managers she was pregnant, the reactions couldn’t have been further apart. One celebrated with her. The other panicked about the impact of her leave. The lesson? Emotional intelligence isn’t just a leadership skill – it’s a deeply human one.
The hidden impact of leaders’ emotions
Speaking with HCAMag, Denut-Samuels – who’s also a certified executive coach with a Diploma in Positive Psychology – explained that leaders often underestimate how much their moods shape team culture.
“Leaders usually believe their teams feel safe, but when you ask people, ‘Would you raise your hand if you made a mistake?’ not many say yes,” she said.
As an EA, you’ve likely seen this firsthand. A leader’s stress, impatience, or negativity can shift the energy of an entire room and even derail decision-making.
The problem? Too many leaders focus only on what needs to get done, without stepping back to consider how their people are experiencing the process.
According to Forbes, here are 10 tips for managing a moody boss:
- Watch for patterns
- Limit your interactions if their mood is rubbing off on you.
- Keep your cool.
- Make sure it’s not you!
- Don’t take it personally.
- Document their behaviour.
- Don’t trigger mood swings.
- Pick meeting times carefully.
- Don’t confront the boss during a mood swing.
- If the problem persists, discuss it with your boss at the right time.
Why feedback culture matters
For assistants who manage performance cycles, feedback sessions, or team comms, this is especially relevant. Denut-Samuels encourages reframing the language we use. Instead of saying “let’s get the best out of someone,” try “let’s get the best in someone.” It’s a subtle shift that positions development as an investment in people rather than just a business outcome.
She also highlights that the best feedback cultures are built on positivity. “The foundation of good feedback is giving 80% of the time positive feedback. When managers only focus on deficiencies, performance actually goes down.”
The business case for Emotional Intelligence
If you ever need to remind your executive why empathy and positivity matter, here’s the proof: research shows that when people are put in a positive frame of mind – through laughter, encouragement, or small rewards – they perform better and stick with tasks longer.
“The way you look at people has an influence on their performance,” Denut-Samuels said. “If your leader believes you’re capable, you flourish and grow.”
What this means for EA’s
As an EA, you’re not just managing schedules – you’re often managing moods. Being aware of how your executive’s emotions influence the wider team can help you act as a steadying presence, provide perspective, and even encourage emotionally intelligent leadership.
Think of yourself as both gatekeeper and culture shaper. By modelling empathy, reframing conversations, and nudging leaders toward positivity, you help create a workplace where people not only perform – they thrive.
