It’s well-recognised that empathy is a vital trait for successful relationships. What’s little known is what it can do for our leadership. And that is supercharge it, says airline captain and manager, corporate speaker and leadership specialist Chris Smith…
“Whether in the flight deck or the office, showing true empathy for your ‘crew’ will pay off enormously when an unexpected emergency arises – and make the good times even better. It’s one of the most important lessons I’ve learnt in 44 years of flying.
For leaders, genuine empathy is much more than understanding or placing ourselves in someone else’s position. A leader with empathy has something much more powerful than power itself, and that’s influence. But it can all be undone if our staff realise it’s not real. In fact, if we’re not genuine, we can do more harm than good.
Some people have lots of natural empathy, and most of us, at least some level. Others may have very little.
Nature or nurture? Genetics or experience?
Well, it’s generally accepted that it’s a combination of both. But there’s no escaping the fact that our experiences impact us. When our attitudes are set at a young age, they’re pretty much locked in. And only another major experience can change them.
Can we learn to have empathy?
Absolutely. Can we build it into our workplace? Most certainly. We can acquire empathy through practice. And although you’re in a business, not a counselling service, you do have to know what’s going on – on the front line and, in fact, at all levels. To do that, you need your people to open up to you, even if you don’t want to hear it.
The best way to do that? Get into their world. Do that, and they will trust you and talk to you.
Here’s how:
Call them whatever you like, but you’ll establish straightforward staff community meetings (way past the normal peer support groups). There is no hierarchy at these meetings (held three monthly at least); no status. Everyone is invited, from the CEO to junior new hires.
Everyone will be educated about the things that cause a degradation in morale, engagement and mental health – no, not just the usual topics of anxiety, depression and so on. You’ll be discussing the dangers of workplace exaggeration, the difference between resilience and tolerance, groupthink, how being impacted by someone else tells us more about us than them, and so much more – and these happen every day in workplaces. You’ll learn how to deal with it, what really generates respect and how to relate to others. Be prepared. There’ll be a lot of self-discovery and self-awareness going on.
Next? All leaders, and anyone who aspires to leadership, will spend 12 months with this group. If someone doesn’t believe in it and doesn’t want to, they definitely need to be there. You’ll change the culture from below, taking the learnings with you up the corporate ladder.
There’s no downside and massive upsides
Expect a serious upturn in workplace harmony, job satisfaction levels and natural productivity.
You should now think about cancelling engagement programs. You won’t need them. This will be the best ‘engagement’ program of all – and the cheapest.
For those who still aren’t convinced, are they the ones whose attendance we require? Watch what happens when they mechanically or unnaturally put some techniques they’ll learn into practice. It’s like at least trying to speak a foreign language to the locals. They appreciate you giving it a go and responding.
It’s entirely probable you’ll also experience better relationships yourself.”
Also read Why self-leadership is essential to lead others | Executive PA Media
