Stabilising a leader under pressure is one of the most demanding parts of the EA role, and it rarely appears in a job description.
Here’s something you don’t hear every day. My sister worked as my EA for two years.
Sure, family can be tricky but I loved working with her. She was professional, talented, proactive – always on it.
Looking back, there was another reason it worked so well – she got me. I think that’s the secret of great EAs. They understand how leaders think, feel and act. They get inside your head. And in our case, growing up together gave her an unusual head start.
But here’s the catch. The closer you get to leadership ‘power’ in an organisation, the heavier the emotional load becomes. Not for me, of course. That was her job.
She’d message out of hours to make sure I had the right information for a flight or was fully briefed for an early meeting the next day. I’d like to think I wasn’t overly demanding. But the simple truth is that when I was stressed or anxious, she felt it too.
You won’t see this on many job descriptions but stabilising leaders (particularly those with few trusted confidants) is one of the most demanding and unheralded parts of the EA role.
Enter the polycrisis
What’s remarkable is how much the daily experience for EAs has changed since the pre-pandemic world I’ve just described.
Today, many executives are operating in permanent urgency mode. They’re overwhelmed by the speed of change and what economists describe as a polycrisis – a rolling series of global and local disruptions that sap energy, confidence and any sense of stability.
During the pandemic, research by Deloitte Canada and LifeWorks found 82% of senior leaders were experiencing exhaustion typically associated with burnout risk. Under sustained pressure, leaders become hyper-vigilant, constantly scanning for threats and ruminating on emerging risks.
There’s no equivalent academic data for EAs or administrative professionals – a glaring omission – but the implications are obvious.
Second-hand stress
As leaders continue to operate in high-pressure environments, the second-hand stress experienced by EAs will continue to rise.
A CEO’s worries are rarely contained. For EAs who are finely attuned to their boss’s emotional state, there’s a real risk those pressures are absorbed and internalised. Over time, stress that isn’t yours begins to feel like it is.
Research into emotional contagion and stress transmission shows that repeated exposure to others’ stress can lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout. In other words, stress spreads – especially in close working relationships.
Rewriting the story
The good news is that while you can’t solve every problem your executive faces, there are healthier ways to support them. It starts with understanding and rewriting your inner story.
As I write in The Story Code, what we tell ourselves shapes how we experience the world. Left unchecked, limiting beliefs and an overactive inner critic can erode confidence and wellbeing. Adopting what I call an inner coach – a healthier, more grounded internal voice – can make all the difference.
Here’s a simple example. Instead of telling yourself you haven’t done enough, or that it’s your responsibility to fix everything, change the narrative: It’s my job to support, not to stabilise or solve every problem.
For extra clarity, draw on evidence. Recall moments when you’ve been explicitly told your role is to support, not fix. Or revisit your job description as a factual reminder of where the boundaries actually sit.
I call this a Mirror Moment; holding up a metaphorical mirror to reconnect with what’s real, not what pressure has convinced you is true.
In my experience, as someone who has recovered from burnout and depression, owning your story, not your executive’s, is the key to long-term success.
Here’s to rewriting your story so you can protect your confidence and clarity as fiercely as your executive’s time. And if you need proof it’s possible, just ask my sister. She’s lived to tell the tale.
