Organisations often talk about culture but rarely consider the role that friendships play in creating a healthy, dynamic and productive work environment, says Michelle Gibbings.
Some leaders believe that if a work environment is too collegiate, people will stop challenging each other, and ideas won’t be debated. However, combative environments where a dominant person subjugates the opinions of others are unfriendly and highly politicised, which can be destructive. The damage to employees’ mental health and well-being from working in such an environment is well-known.
As high-level EAs will know only too well, workplaces are complex environments – bringing together a melting pot of people with varying ideas, assumptions, experiences, expectations and ambitions. It’s about finding the balance between too much friendship and not enough collegiality. If you want an engaged and productive workplace where employees constructively challenge and go beyond the norm, let me tell you why healthy friendships should be encouraged and nurtured…
Work friendships foster collaboration
Our brain quickly assesses whether it sees someone as a friend or foe. It then processes the information we receive from that person according to which category we’ve put them in. This means that if two people say the same thing to us, but one is considered a foe and the other a friend, we will interpret what they say differently. It’s like giving someone the benefit of the doubt. We will do that for a friend but not for a foe. If you see colleagues as foes, you’re more likely to misinterpret their intent, which leads to distrust, disagreement and unproductive competitive behaviour – none of which builds a collaborative and productive workplace.
Work friendships build engagement
In his book Vital Friends: The People You Can’t Afford to Live Without, Tom Rath outlines research showing that employees who have best friends at work are seven times more likely to be engaged in their jobs! Additionally, if they have at least three vital friends at work, they are 96% more likely to be satisfied with their lives.
Work friendships inspire happiness
Having a solid network is vital for career success, but it’s meaningless if the relationships in the network aren’t genuine. It’s easy to spot someone who can network, network, network, yet has superficial and highly transactional relationships. And a relationship that focuses purely on what you can get from it fuels disconnection. Instead, having someone you can share experiences with, bounce ideas off and talk through problems is good for the soul. When you work with people you like, work is more enjoyable, and you will likely find yourself more connected. When you feel more connected at work, you’ll feel happier.
Work friendships accelerate progress
Good friends don’t just agree with you – they challenge and inspire you to greater heights. They help you see things from different perspectives and explore new ideas because getting input and feedback from a friend you trust is much easier. Similarly, an affiliative and collaborative environment makes it easier for ideas to be debated, agreed on and progressed.
So, if you want to develop an influential and effective team, consider the role friendship can play in helping to create the culture you need to excel. As you do this, remember the words of relationship expert Dale Carnegie: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
