Ever feel like life is heavier than it should be? Like you’re walking through your days with an invisible weight strapped to your back … not catastrophic, just… heavy? You’re not imagining it. Most of us are hauling around more than we realise. Not just responsibilities or obligations, but outdated ideas, unnecessary routines, and systems we never signed up for but have somehow inherited. The kind of things that sneak in, settle quietly, and never leave until we notice how much harder everything feels.
Welcome to what I call red brick thinking. In one of my workshops, I built a LEGO® bridge that’s leaning to one side. When I ask the group, “How do we fix this?”, without fail, most people reach for another block, adding more, building up and further complicating the structure. The real solution is to remove the one small red brick causing the imbalance.
Addition is almost hard-coded into us. A 2021 study from the University of Virginia found that when people are asked to improve something, whether it’s a design, a process or even a sentence, their first instinct is almost always to add. Subtraction rarely comes to mind unless it’s explicitly suggested because we are wired to think that progress means more when, often, it’s less that sets us free.
Red bricks are the stuff we’ve added, often without question, that no longer serve us. They’re cultural pressures, outdated beliefs, legacy systems, unnecessary meetings, perfectionism, overcommitment… you name it. The scariest part is that we often don’t realise we’re carrying them. Not all red bricks are created equal. Some are small, an unnecessary recurring meeting, a social obligation that drains rather than delights, or that drawer full of gym gear mocking you every time you open it.
Others are heavy-duty bricks: outdated responsibilities, toxic relationships, roles you’ve outgrown but feel guilty leaving behind. These are the ones that take up the most space, not just in your calendar, but in your head and your heart.
- Small ‘r’ red bricks are easy edits: cancel a meeting, say no to something out of habit, or unsubscribe from that newsletter you never read.
- Big ‘R’ red bricks are stickier: inherited routines, long-standing commitments, systems or relationships that no longer reflect who you are.
The real challenge is that we often don’t see them until we feel them – in our stress, exhaustion, resentment, or that nagging feeling that something’s just… off. That low hum of discontent could be a red brick whispering for attention. Start spotting your red bricks by tuning into your emotional load. Ask yourself:
- What drains my energy faster than it should?
- Where do I feel tension or resistance in my day?
- What am I doing out of obligation, not intention?
- What would I quietly celebrate if it were cancelled?
You don’t need a full “life detox.” In fact, please don’t try that. Awareness is your superpower here so start small and simply notice. Most of the red bricks we carry were picked up slowly and we can start putting them down the same way.
Here’s what’s wild: many of us are waiting for someone to say it’s okay to stop, to quit, to take a break, to delete or to opt out, when in reality, no one’s coming. You have permission, right now, to make the changes that will give you the space and capacity for what’s most important. Red brick thinking is about reclaiming your agency. You get to decide what still belongs in your life by challenging the default setting of “more is better.”
Letting go can feel extreme, especially if you’re used to holding it all together. But often, the most transformative shifts don’t come from dramatic moves but from quiet, consistent subtractions. One small decision at a time.
So now is not the time to overthink this. Choose just one thing this week that’s felt heavy or unnecessary. Something that doesn’t spark joy or add value (and possibly never did). Then, remove it and observe what happens. You might find more breathing space, a clearer head, a tiny spark of joy, a little less rushing and a lot more calm.
This is a quiet revolution against overwork, perfectionism and performative busyness. It’s the courage to choose less, so we can experience more of what really matters. So next time life feels heavier than it should, pause and ask: “What can I remove today that my future self will thank me for?” Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is subtract. Start with one red brick.
