Negotiation is essentially a conversation between two parties to reach an agreement. The difference between a regular conversation and a negotiation is the level of your intention. Glin Bayley, negotiation specialist, reveals key skills and techniques.
As an EA, you are often the gatekeeper to senior executives and people of significance within an organisation. This means others are constantly working to influence you, whether to gain access to the person you represent or to acquire valuable information you hold due to your role. Your ability to navigate these dynamics strategically is what sets exceptional EAs apart.
Whenever I imagine the EA role, I picture Donna from Suits—the superhuman powerhouse behind the high-powered lawyer, Harvey Specter. Donna embodies the strategic mindset of a great negotiator. She doesn’t just react; she anticipates, positions, and plays the long game. She understands the difference between being tactical—responding to immediate demands—and being strategic—thinking several moves ahead to achieve the best outcomes for herself and her organisation.
The difference between good negotiators and great negotiators lies in their understanding of the deeper principles of negotiation. Great negotiators operate strategically, aligning their actions with overarching goals and adapting their tactics to suit the environment when required. For an EA, mastering these principles can elevate your ability to influence outcomes and add immense value to your role.
The core skills of negotiation for EAs
You need a combination of skills to negotiate effectively, some of which you might already use daily without realising. Here’s a closer look at the key areas:
- Understand yourself and the other party
Negotiation begins with self-awareness. What do you bring to the table? What value do you offer? As an EA, your position often gives you key insights into your executive’s goals and preferences. Use this knowledge to understand what the other party is trying to achieve and where your interests align or diverge.
Great negotiators also pay close attention to the unspoken dynamics in the room. Body language, tone, and phrasing reveal as much as the words being said.
2. Leverage data
Negotiation is part science, part art. The science lies in analysing data—the “people data” you gather through observation and interaction and the “hard data” you glean from reports, documents, and other published sources. As an EA, you’re uniquely positioned to access both types of information, making you a valuable asset in any negotiation.
When preparing, think like a detective. What does the other party value most? What are their priorities? Are there external pressures or deadlines they’re dealing with? The more you know, the more leverage you have.
3. Build relationships and navigate egos
Negotiation is as much about managing relationships as it is about securing agreements. In your role, you’ll often need to navigate egos—whether it’s a senior executive, a demanding client, or a peer in another department. Empathy and diplomacy are your greatest tools here.
When EAs don’t know how to be the diplomat, they often take the approach of a general – commanding and rigid. While this might make people fear you and give you a sense of power, it doesn’t serve the goal of achieving the best outcomes. The true power in negotiation comes from being approachable, building trust, and fostering collaboration.
Approach conversations with curiosity and a collaborative mindset. You can diffuse tension and build trust by framing negotiations as a way to solve problems together rather than a battle of wills. This doesn’t mean conceding everything; instead, it means finding ways to align interests where possible.
Tactics and techniques for success
Once you’ve mastered the foundational skills, you can apply tactical strategies to elevate your negotiation game:
- Start with clarity
Set clear intentions before entering a negotiation. What is your ideal outcome? What are your non-negotiables? As an EA, clarity is your power. You can steer conversations effectively if you know what you’re aiming for.
- Ask powerful questions
The best negotiators don’t dominate the conversation—they guide it. Use open-ended questions to uncover the other party’s true motivations. For example:
- “What’s most important to you in this agreement?”
- “How can we work together to meet both our goals?”
By listening more than you speak, you’ll gather valuable insights and position yourself as a collaborative partner.
- Anchor and frame the discussion
In negotiation, the person who sets the tone often holds the advantage. If you’re negotiating deadlines, resources, or access, present your case confidently and frame your requests for mutual benefit. For instance:
- “To ensure this project is completed successfully, I recommend prioritising securing [specific resource]. Does that align with your goals?”
This approach shows that you’re not just asking for something but contributing to a shared success.
- Stay calm under pressure
Negotiations can sometimes become tense, especially when egos are involved. Your ability to remain composed is a superpower. If emotions run high, take a moment to pause, breathe, and refocus on the bigger picture. This signals confidence and keeps the conversation productive.
The greatest asset in negotiation
Your greatest asset to any negotiation is your ability to listen actively and adapt strategically. As an EA, you already excel at juggling competing priorities, reading between the lines, and anticipating needs—skills directly transferable to negotiation.
Negotiation is not about manipulation but finding the best path forward for all parties involved. When you approach each conversation with intention, empathy, and strategic thinking, you’ll achieve better outcomes and reinforce your reputation as an indispensable professional.
Bottom line
Negotiation is essential for EAs who want to excel in their roles and expand their influence. By understanding the principles, honing your skills, and applying strategic tactics, you can transform every conversation into an opportunity to create value – for yourself, your executive, and your organisation.
Whether it’s managing egos, securing resources, or aligning priorities, the ability to negotiate effectively will set you apart as a true strategic partner. So, channel your inner Donna, step confidently into the conversation, and remember that negotiation is not just a skill – it’s your superpower.
