Author Colin D Ellis shares insights into dealing with toxic people at work, more specifically, ‘the boss’. Executive assistants work closely with their executives, and toxicity in these ranks can ultimately lead to you dreading the office.
Almost every week, there is a new toxic culture story in the media, and Australia is no exception. Allegations of toxic management have been reported at WiseTech, Country Road Group, Bureau of Meteorology and Sony Australia to name but a few. The culture at Nine News was alleged to be so toxic that one employee dubbed it ‘Punishment Island’.
According to research by the mental health platform Headspace, almost half the world’s population dreads going to work. That feeling, in the pit of the stomach, of having to work in an environment of uncertainty, fear, poor communication, micromanagement, bullying, or daily toxic behaviors can be hard to bear.
Yet, the research doesn’t clarify that regardless of this feeling of dread, people will show up anyway because, well, they have to. Groceries need to be bought, mortgages or rent needs to be paid, children need to be educated or loved ones have to be cared for. Far too often the advice – if you dread going to work – is to simply quit. For many, this is simply impossible as the uncertainties are too great or the risks of loss of income are too high.
So, how do you deal with a toxic boss when quitting isn’t an option? There are always eight steps to follow before considering taking on the uncertainty of quitting. They are:
- Look after yourself first – in toxic work situations, your well-being must be the top priority. Regular exercise, proper nutrition, and adequate rest form the foundation of mental resilience. Your physical health directly influences how well you handle workplace challenges.
- Excellence as protection – maintaining impeccable work quality to defend against unfair criticism. Model professional behavior to ensure that there can be no blame laid at your door.
- Document your experiences – dedicate brief daily moments to record your workplace experiences and feelings. Simple starters like “My feelings today…”, “What impacted me…” or “Observable actions included…” are a good place to start. This has a two-fold advantage of creating an ‘audit trail’ of how you (and others) are treated and can also help to process your emotions.
- Open communication channels – if it feels safe enough to do so, engage your manager in professional, focused discussions about specific concerns and potential remedies. Express how their actions or behaviors make you feel.
- Involve HR support – if direct communication with your manager isn’t viable, bring your concerns to your human resources department and present objective observations (as documented in point number 2) of what you’ve experienced.
- Consider internal moves – if these approaches prove unsuccessful, explore transfers or temporary assignments within the company to escape the toxic environment and broaden your experience.
- Foster relationships – develop a reliable network of friends, colleagues, or mentors who can offer support and perspective when needed. This safety net is essential for navigating difficult times.
- Define your boundaries – Establish and maintain clear professional limits regarding your time, duties, and workplace relationships.
If more drastic action is required, seek professional advice, or if you have witnessed something unlawful, alert the authorities immediately.
Don’t share your experiences on social media. Not only can this bring unwanted press (and other) attention, but it can also lead to litigation, which could destroy your reputation for future work.
That said, people often feel that they have no other option than to go public in order to bring their toxic boss to ‘justice’. However, be aware that how the company deals with the allegations may not satisfy you. Many toxic bosses have received payouts in the millions for bringing untold misery to the people that report to them.
No human being should ever suffer at the hands of a toxic boss and in situations where you are unable to quit (which will always be the best option). Employing the strategies that have been outlined will not only ensure that you manage your mental and physical health but also provide you with an opportunity to deal with your toxic boss.
Colin D Ellis is a five-time best-selling author and culture consultant. Read his latest book Detox Your Culture. Find out what kind of culture you have right now by visiting www.fiveculturesquiz.com
