It is possible to spend less time on your smart phone and stay effective. Communications expert and author Louisa Guise has some tips to help…
Smartphones, along with the instant messengers and social media that feature on them, are still a relatively new way to socialise and communicate. They have become a normal tool in our everyday lives – although the ways in which we use them do not always make sense from an evolutionary point of view.
Did you know that these devices are designed to be addictive? Their noisy notifications and bright colours are modelled on the slot machines that you get at the casino. So, the fact you are glued to your phone is not entirely your fault. The design already leaves you at a disadvantage and makes it difficult for you to have a healthy relationship with your phone. Realising this is the first step towards a self-aware mindset that can help you see your device for what it is and begin to change things.
Face-to-face versus behind a screen
In real-world communication with each other, we can receive up to as much as 93% of what we are being told not from our words but from our body language and other visual cues such as tone of voice, as well as the environment in which we are situated. However, when you are communicating through a digital interface, there are few markers that regulate the conversation. Group chats on instant messengers can last for eternity because there are no natural signals to tell us to stop.
Social media and the conventions that developed around it have also complicated how we communicate. Social media in and of itself has radically changed our communication style as we know it, as well as who we are now communicating with and how often. It has heavily influenced how we engage with each other, on our smartphones and in the real world, in more ways than we could have ever imagined.
A normal conversation will automatically and naturally end when participants have had enough. When this happens, everyone involved knows why without any explanation, and there are no gaps to fill – no second guessing. If people leave a group chat, however, there can be drama. Being aware of this can also help you see how you communicate by using your smartphone and why you communicate in the way that you do. It’s important to notice that our expectations for eachother have become too high.
A way forward?
One way to lessen the hold that your smartphone has on you is to use it less. This sounds obvious, but in reality, it’s hard to distance yourself from something with you all the time. Changes in the real world can affect how you behave in the digital world, and putting your phone away physically is a significant step towards using your phone less. ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ might be a saying of old, but it is a very effective method to transition from the mindset of ‘I need my phone all the time’ to ‘I don’t need my phone’.
I began cutting down on my own phone use by physically leaving my phone in another room – could you try that? It was hard in the beginning. I’d be sure my phone was somewhere else, but then I’d touch my hip, and my phone would be tucked away in my pocket. I didn’t even remember picking it up… You might not either! But that’s okay.
Mealtimes are a good time to keep phones away from the table, and you’ll get a better workout if you don’t take your phone to the gym. Designate some phone-free times and stick to them.
The next step
Eventually, you’ll get to a point where you use your phone less.
But those essential apps can draw you back in, so:
- Disable the push notifications and the pop-ups.
- Turn your sound off, other than the ring tone for calls (it’s actually impolite to play noise from your phone in the presence of others and can really annoy them, even if they don’t say anything).
What about my alarm clock in the morning, I hear you ask? Well, decommission your phone! Keep it away from your bed at night and buy a new clock that is just a clock – this can be done cheaply. This will stop the light emitted from your phone from disrupting your sleep cycle and you’ll no longer be reading stressful messenger conversations before bed.
Another way to make your phone less addictive (and less casino-ish) is to change the setting to grayscale so you aren’t attracted to those bright colours.
And if there are too many group chats on your phone, leave them – and forgive others if they do the same. There is no shame in decluttering your digital life.
Due to the sheer pace at which digital technology is continuing to develop, it is very important that we seek to understand the new technologies that we are using as they evolve and what they should or should not be used for. This understanding will set us in good stead to be able to establish rules that we can apply to our phone use so that we can use our devices comfortably, be prepared for how they may affect ourselves and others and have the confidence and the tools to allow them to affect us less.
Also read: Mindful in a Distraction Epidemic | Executive PA Media cover story