Creating environments where people feel valued and connected requires intentional daily practices. As leadership expert Graeme Cowan explains in this edited extract from his book, Great Leaders Care, “genuine connection begins with curious, attentive listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak.”
EAs increasingly act as cultural ambassadors and team connectors. These evidence-based leadership approaches can help you model positive behaviours and support executives in building stronger teams.
- Listen with empathy, ask better questions
Bob Chapman, CEO of Barry-Wehmiller, discovered that “the most important thing we can do is listen with empathy.” His company created a three-day course to improve empathetic listening across all team members, enhancing both collaboration and personal relationships.
As an EA, practice curious questioning rather than quick judgement. Try open-ended questions like “What’s your perspective on this?”, “Am I missing anything?” and “What would help you succeed here?” This approach works whether you’re coordinating with stakeholders or supporting team meetings.
- Make vulnerability safe
Ellen Derrick, Deloitte Asia-Pacific government and public services leader, exemplifies creating psychological safety. When her daughter was hospitalised, she shared her crisis wellbeing plan on LinkedIn, including “cutting herself some slack” and “taking care of herself first so she can take care of others.”
The response showed how vulnerability strengthened rather than diminished respect for her leadership. Permission-giving approaches, often delivered with self-deprecating humour, encourage authentic communication without fear of judgement.
- Normalise help-seeking
Create cultures where asking for support is expected, not stigmatised. In weekly meetings, consider asking team members what “moodometer zone” they’re in and what self-care practice they’re implementing.
Make “R U OK?” conversations normal workplace interactions. Ask the question twice with genuine curiosity (because initial responses often default to “fine” due to hierarchy and social expectations).
- Celebrate progress consistently
Harvard’s Teresa Amabile’s research shows that consistent progress in meaningful work (even through small wins) drives motivation, positive emotions and creativity. Minor steps forward can ignite engagement and shared moments that bond teams.
Create regular rituals for celebrating progress, not just major milestones, but everyday efforts that move work forward. This might include weekly check-ins where everyone shares one small success – or simply saying “I noticed how you handled that situation, well done” with genuine warmth.
- Build personal connections
Structure opportunities for team members to know each other beyond work roles. Try rotating 15-minute interviews at meetings where one person interviews another about life experiences, childhood memories or personal heroes.
Share simple personal details that humanise work relationships – weekend streaming choices, favourite movies or passions outside work. These conversations often lead to unexpected connection and laughter.
Most people’s energising activities fall into three categories: exercise, quality time with family and friends, or contemplative activities like meditation or gardening. Encourage team members to share their ‘one thing’ and support each other in making time for what matters most.
The aim is building genuine human connection that transforms workplaces from places people simply work to communities where people thrive together.